As I sit and reflect on Lent, I’m left feeling emotional in all the best ways. I set out with the intention of not eating any sweets for 40 days. I was successful and that is a big deal for me. I also wanted to increase prayer and give donations, but was that enough? The self-doubt started to enter. 

Our family donated to food banks and cleaned out our closets. We abstained from meat on Fridays, and we read scripture. I set out to increase my daily prayer time. I started every morning with Prayer40 on the Hallow app. I paused throughout the day to give thanks to God for all that he’s given me and closed every night with the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Still I wondered: did I do enough? 

It wasn’t until our Lenten Mission that it came together for me, and what a beautiful mission it was. Each night built on the next and became more powerful. The band played perfect music sets, and the church was full. While I wasn’t able to attend in person, I was able to watch at home with my three year old daughter. We made it a ‘stay up late night’ and we watched every moment together. 

Night One is when everything shifted for me. It was moving, meaningful and I felt the Holy Spirit as I sat at home. As we were watching everyone in the church place an offering in the boat on the altar, I turned to my daughter and asked her, “What would you give to Jesus?” With her bright blue eyes, she simply answered, “Everything.” She didn’t offer any other words or questions; she knew what the answer was, and it was the answer I had been searching for all Lent. It is to turn your life over to him and give him everything. My self-doubt left, and any worry and anxieties I was carrying from the weeks before were gone. 

We prayed a simple prayer of surrender together, “Jesus, I give you everything,” and went to bed. I have repeated this every single night since. 

It’s moments like these that I am so grateful for everything our parish offers. The in-person events, multiple media options, and our opportunities to have meaningful conversations with our family members can change us forever.